Ever since Tinder popped up on the Dating Apps scene in 2012, people have been going crazy over the concept of being able to find someone hot nearby in less than twenty seconds (what they clearly failed to realise is, you can basically do that anywhere but also verify they’re not stalkers at the same time because you can SEE THEM). However the more I’ve used this app, the more I’ve found my brain hurts (there will be a consequent post on this by the way called ‘Why Tinder Makes my Brain Hurt’) mostly due to the types of men I’ve found are actually on there. After months of ‘research’, I can safely conclude, in my humble opinion, I have a greater chance of actually marrying Ryan Gosling than finding anyone legit on here.
If you think your love is a swipe away, please think again.
1. It’s a dating app, not a bar, also its not Shaadi.com
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, please sign up in a reputed match making website which has a paid membership. If you’re looking for a cheap hookup….go to the bar!
2. Fault in Your Matches
Ladies, this one’s especially for you. The Gym Junkie, The Guy with Girls in his Photos, The Corporate Douchebag, The Science Nerd, The Oversharer, The Brooding Musician, Mr. I-Have-No-Idea-How-This-Works, are a few guys you should really stay away from, and these types of guys are the only ones you find on Tinder, so in short, stay away from Tinder!
3. Tinder bang or Tinder hang?
Let’s suppose that you do find your perfect match, you guys are compatible, lovey-dovey, lost in love, the works. But what happens when you two meet? Two complete strangers? What are you even trying to do, trying out a new way of Indian arranged marriage?
4. Bios which are clichéd but meant to be sounding original
In the year 2011, we all exhausted our use of the “word” YOLO and I think we can safely agree we will never use that trite expression as a tinder byline. Still, try to avoid other similar phrases like, “live every second,” or “carpe diem.” If you need to rely on an overused phrase about stepping outside your comfort zone, chances are you aren’t great at stepping outside your comfort zone.
5. “Sun kissed” photos
Did you know your close friends, family members, and partner(s) find you more subjectively attractive than people who don’t know you? This “positive illusion” effect is due to these people seeing the good in you and viewing you in a biased and brighter light. So when you post a picture on Facebook that frightfully exaggerates your level of looks, they see that as you just being your “best self.” You know who will view you objectively? People who don’t know you. So if you put up your best Beyonce-level-stunning-selfie that was taken right after you got your hair cut, people might be a little let down if they ever meet you in person. You want that first encounter to be an impressive one. Try to avoid the he-looked-better-online-effect.
6. The girl/guy who claims to be single, but surprise surprise, is dating!
God save you if you end up falling for such a person. This type of a match typically claims to hate drama in their life, but in reality they feed on it. Watch out!
7. Unnecessarily socializing
These types of people are like a walking Facebook. They will try and relate you to someone or the other in their lives and make sure they haunt you till you don’t succumb to their pressure of becoming their “bff”.
So readers, all we are trying to say is that the man or woman of your dreams will not be lurking on Tinder and asking you for your “ASL”, nor will he or she be interested in swiping for you by seeing your photos and the corny two-liners you give in your bio, so please do not waste your time on this app, instead go out and get a life.
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