Things were just fine, you decided to have a little fun. However, now it seems like fling has turned somewhat serious. It does not matter if you became serious or your partner, or whether it was planned or unplanned, whether you are ready or not. The question is: now what?
Things are definitely going to be different and this article is a short guide on how to navigate your way around this. Are you unsure about seriousness entering the situation? Check if any of these are true:
- You/your partner says the magical 3 words – I love you.
- There are signs of possessiveness and jealousy.
- There are hints about the future or taking a step ahead.
- Sexual behaviour has changed.
If any of the above is true, your fling is becoming serious. Here is what you can do:
If you got serious:
So you got serious about your partner, but you are not sure whether they feel the same way. You want to tell them but you are afraid to lose them so you let things be. But guess what, you will have to take the leap. When you are more serious than they are, that’s very fertile grounds for fights and things becoming sour.
So, you have to tell them. Find a good time, when the partner isn’t stressed, when you are not likely to be disturbed. It’s better to do this in person than on phone. It is likely that they may be taken aback if they weren’t aware at all. Give them time to think on it. However, if after thinking, they don’t want a serious relationship, staying to ‘enjoy what’s there’ is not going to work. Things have definitely changed and there’s no going back. It’s better to split now than when you would be much more deeply immersed into it.
If your partner got serious:
Either your partner has told you they’re serious or you have deciphered it from the changing aspects of the relationship/the hints they are dropping. You might be taken by surprise, so don’t make a hasty decision. Evaluate your partner, as well as your feelings for them calmly. Agreed that you didn’t sign up for a serious relationship, but if you had, would this partner’s attributes be ideal? Don’t rush your decision.
If after deliberation, you feel you aren’t inclined, then break the news gently. Don’t hang around postponing it as that will make it worse. Instead, do it as soon as you are clear. Tell them that you had a good time, but you are just not ready for a serious relationship. They may say that they will go back to how ‘we previously were’, but that doesn’t really happen. More often than not, that’s just an attempt to have you around to change your mind.
If you would like to give it a shot, you can stay, but if you are absolutely sure you do not want to, don’t waste your time.
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