Statutory warning: this post is inundated with hilarious ‘did you know’ facts about Elephants. Please make sure you have stomach for good humor.
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom- if you are a woman and to marry soon, make sure that the guy vows to love you as Elephants, confusing bit? It’s because an they would do anything to woo his lover and will starve to death if she dies. Let us also not forget the lip..err! trunk lock kiss! This much cuteness could kill. And if you are a guy, don’t call a fat woman fat, never! Because Elephants never forgets neither forgive. Gee! (P.S- I am no body shaming enthusiast, it’s simply a joke!)
Life is super fun as in Jungle for them because they always stay in groups, like joint families, trimming the politics fat, they’re always soaked in party mood. Find out below:
The fun begins at the baby stage
Like a human baby would suck on its thumb for comfort, a baby Elephant too would suck on its trunk for the same. Guess what their favorite plaything is.. a puddle of mud! A few plop-a-plops and they will come out looking like a Brownie topped with chocolate sauce.
Diwali gifts that they probably give away to each other
A papa Elephant gives his baby a suitcase, because he already has a trunk, but small. And a Romeo Elephant will make no bones of gifting his girl with a SPF-50 Sunscreen because women among them hate sunburn and thus cover themselves with sand. It’s also not ‘irrelephant’ to give her a pair of classy spandex shorts because she loves to plank!
Career options for elephants
We hear that one of the World’s most expensive coffee brands is made from the dung of Thai Elephants. Since Thai and Indian elephant has the same diet, why not the former also try their luck in exporting dung to serve coffee brands? Just saying..
They don’t make human like mommies
Unlike most human mommies, who sinfully adulate to over-feed us, a mommy elephant will never over-feed her baby. It’s the management problem in the aftermath that keeps the mommy Elephants from doing so. *chuckles*
The Elephant way of living in jungle
Elephants can’t help poke their nose in other’s business, blame the length of it! *pokerface* Oh yes! If you’re contemplating a business, try running a medicine shop in the Jungle, you will have most Elephants buying Gelusil from you because an Elephant has an appetite that matches its size. And all the feminists out there will be smitten over the fact that Elephants have a matriarchal society and an old female leads a herd. More lalita Pawar (read: Power) to you Elephant!
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